"What is about to run you over quiz!"


Traffic in Cairo is insane! I use to pride myself with the fact that I could easily cut taxi cab drivers off in Chicago traffic and I didn't slow down on side streets when you and an oncomming car were trying to share the space designed for only one car.
That is nothing compaired to Cairo. People walk in the street (usualy because the sidewalks are constantly changing height because each shop is trying to mark their spot), there are no right angle interesections, everything is a u turn or circle, there are lane markings and stop lights. They are decrotive only! They are placed there to lure the tourist into a false sense of familiariy.

I always like driving in cities (in the US) because I always feel that there is a flow to the traffic. The differnce here is you never know what is coming. There could be a donkey cart stopped in the middle of the street. A street sweeper could be scrubbing the concrete on his hands and knees while 40mph traffic swerves around to avoid him. There are to many variables.

Have you ever seen the scene where Luke Skywalker is riding the speeder bike through the Ewok forest while battling Storm Toopers in Return of the Jedi? Cairo traffic a much faster than that. Luke would be hosed in Cairo traffic. His Jedi danger sense would fry. He'd run off to a quiet planet and live in a hut like Yoda, crying every time he heard a honk, never to drive again.

For the most part traffic doesn't move that fast (because it can't). The cool thing is that people accept the traffic and aren't going to fly off into road rage. They might yell at you... but that is about it. We've been in a car accident (and i'm sure we'll be in another before I leave).. we all get out of the car... look at the damage; the person who hit the other offers to pay for the damage (which he never will pay because everyone is to poor)... the person being hit tells him that he wouldn't accept the money anyway because accidents happen... everyone gets in their cars and drives off.

My personal favorite is walking down a sidestreet having a car beep to let you know that it is passing close to you... so you turn sideways and your legs touch the parked car in front of you and the moving car brushes your jacket or backside. Don't walk with your arms dangling out to the side, I've had my elbow and hands brushed up in front of me by passing cars. I think i've cleaned the doors of several cars in cairo with my pants and shirt brushing up against them as I try to avoid being run over.
The good thing is that most people / cars /creatures try to warn you that you are about to become a pancake. Hissing like a snake is the perfered method of letting you know that they want to pass. Here is the list of sounds I've heard while in Egypt. See if you can figure out what wanted to pass. Write down your answers before you check the key.

  1. SSSSSSSSS!
  2. Clop Clop Clop SSSSSSSSSSSS CLOP SSSSSSSSS
  3. beep beep beep (very quick short beeps)
  4. BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP! (long beeps)
  5. clop, jingle, SSSSSSSS clop jingle SSSSSS (this is not to be confused with "clop, jingle, SQUEEK, SSSSSSS")
  6. clop, jingle, SQUEEK, SSSSSS
  7. squeek, squeek, squeek, SSSSSSSS
  8. squeek, clack, squeek, SSSSSSSS
  9. gurgle, gurlge, moan, gurlge, SSSSSSSS (gurgles have that deep deep moan.. sorta like jaba the hut)


















Answer Key
  1. Woman or man on foot wanting to pass.
  2. Donkey with man on it wanting to pass.
  3. Car telling you that they see you they acknowledge that you were here first and that they are going to try pass without killing you.
  4. Car telling you that they see you and that they have the rigth away so they are going to pass even if they have to kill you.
  5. Donkey with bells on it's harness about to run you over.
  6. Donkey with bells on harness pulling a cart that is 3 times wider than the donkey (make sure you give extra room past the donkey, so you don't go for an inadvertant ride on the cart as I did).
  7. Man riding bicycle while balancing a tray full of pita bread (about 4' by 4').
  8. Man riding bicycle with cart in front full trying to pass.
  9. Camel about to knock you off the path.




A quick joke told me to be my friend Bedawii. An Egyptian Taxi cab driver is comes to New York and gets a job driving. His first day he runs through a red light. The cop says "Hey! What are you doing? The light is Red." The Egyptian replies "Don't worry I'm know what I'm doing I'm from Cairo." The second day the same thing happens.. the light is red and the taxi cab goes right through the intersection. So the cop stops him and says "Hey! What are you doing? The light is Red." Th Egyptian replies "Don't worry I'm know what I'm doing I'm from Cairo." This goes on for several more days. Never does the Taxi cause an accident but each time he goes through the red light and the cop yells at him. So on the 6th day the Taxi cab stops at a green light. The cop asks "Why the hell are you stopped at a green light." The driver points to another taxi that is passing in front of him and says "Another Egyptian driver."